Invitations and offers: 〜ましょう, 〜ませんか and 〜ましょうか

Lunch with a coworker, cherry-blossom viewing with classmates, a hand with heavy boxes at work — invitations and offers are how people in Japan become friends and good colleagues. You have seen 〜ましょう in example sentences already; in this lesson you learn how to invite, suggest and offer properly, and how to say no without hurting anyone.

Inviting: 〜ませんか

Change ます to ませんか: いっしょにひるごはんを食べませんか — “Would you like to have lunch together?” Literally it means “won’t you eat …?”. The negative question leaves the other person an easy way to say no, so it sounds soft and polite. A plain 食べますか only asks about a fact or a plan (“Do you eat lunch?”), so it is not an invitation.

ます form	Invitation	Meaning
行きます	行きませんか	Would you like to go?
食べます	食べませんか	Would you like to eat?
飲みます	飲みませんか	Would you like to have (a drink)?
見ます	見ませんか	Would you like to watch / see?
します	しませんか	Would you like to do / play?
来ます	来ませんか (きませんか)	Would you like to come?

Add いっしょに (together) when you will do it together: 土曜日にいっしょに山へ行きませんか.

Suggesting: 〜ましょう

Change ます to ましょう — “let’s …”. Use it to accept an invitation, when the group has already agreed, and to start or end shared work: はじめましょう (let’s begin), 休みましょう (let’s take a break).

A: 土曜日に花見に行きませんか。 B: いいですね。行きましょう。 — A invites with 〜ませんか; B accepts with 〜ましょう.

Deciding the details: question word + 〜ましょうか

Once the invitation is accepted, decide when, where and what with a question word + 〜ましょうか (“shall we …?”): 何時に会いましょうか — 十時はどうですか. どこで食べましょうか — 駅の前の店はどうですか.

Offering help: 〜ましょうか

Without a question word, 〜ましょうか usually offers help — “shall I …?”: にもつをもちましょうか (Shall I carry your bags?), 手伝てつだいましょうか (Shall I help?). At work this is one of the most useful phrases you can learn: it shows you are ready to help without pushing.

• Accept: ありがとうございます。おねがいします。
• Decline: だいじょうぶです。ありがとうございます。

〜ませんか invites the other person to do something (with you). 〜ましょうか offers that you do something, or asks “shall we” about the details.

Saying yes and saying no

Yes: いいですね (sounds good), ぜひ (I’d love to). No: a direct いいえ、行きません sounds cold. Thank the person, then decline indirectly and leave the sentence unfinished: すみません、その日はちょっと…. You can add a short reason with から (lesson 16): 土曜日はアルバイトがありますから. Finish with また今度こんどおねがいします — “Please ask me again next time.”

Hanami: an invitation you will get

In late March and early April, coworkers, classmates and friends often go to 花見 (はなみ) — a picnic under the cherry blossoms. 花 means flower and 見 means see. A typical message: あした、公園こうえんで花見をしませんか。空がきれいですよ。 If you go, ask 何かもっていきましょうか (Shall I bring something?) and take your rubbish home or use the bins provided.

New kanji: 花, 空, 魚

花 (はな) — flower: 花見, 花火 (はなび, fireworks). 空 (そら) — sky; it also means “empty”: 空いています (あいています) means a seat or room is free, and 空港くうこう is an airport. 魚 (さかな) — fish. Their readings, stroke counts and example words are in the Kanji section below.

Common mistakes

• Inviting with 〜ますか: ひるごはんを食べますか only asks whether the person eats lunch. To invite, say 食べませんか.
• Answering an invitation with はい、食べません: the negative is only the shape of the question. Say いいですね。食べましょう.
• Mixing up the offer and the invitation: 手伝てつだいましょうか = shall I help? 手伝てつだいませんか = would you (like to) help?
• Refusing with a direct いいえ. Use ちょっと… and a reason.

How to practise

• Invite a friend to three things this week with 〜ませんか.
• Answer your own invitations: once yes with 〜ましょう, once no with ちょっと….
• Write two offers of help you could make at work with 〜ましょうか.
• Write 花, 空 and 魚 on the worksheet and do the fill-in exercise.